EX BF going WTF
Totul este relativ. Timpul este relativ. Cum iti ocupi timpul este relativ. Cat de ocupat esti este relativ. Importanta persoanelor din jur este relativa. Chiar si ce e normal si logic e relativ.
Si uite asa nu au oamenii timp. Pentru ca sunt ocupati, normal. Inteleg ca, spre deosebire de mine, unii au un program incarcat. Nu putem toti sa frecam menta si sa o ardem dubios. Dar, chiar daca timpul alocat mie ar fi mult mai putin decat este acum, tot as reusi sa ma vad cu prietenii. Si, normal, m-as vedea cu ei in functie de cat de importanti sunt pentru mine. Si in functie de cat de des i-am vazut in ultima vreme.
Exista totusi o categorie de oameni pentru care mi-as face timp orice ar fi. Pentru care n-as dormi noaptea ca sa vorbesc cu ei. Pentru care m-as trezi de la 6 doar ca sa-i aud. Pe care, daca as avea previous commitments, i-as lua cu mine. Oameni ale caror sentimente le-as lua in calcul.
Asta e problema mea. Imi pasa. Chiar imi pasa. Cand vine vorba de the right thing stiu ce e bine si ce nu. Altii se pare ca nu.
Eu stiam ce vroiam. Acum nu mai stiu. Sau stiu dar mi se pare imposibil asa ca incerc sa uit.
Totul se schimba. Noi ne schimbam. Daca rupi ceva in mii de bucatele sansele sa le pui pe toate la loc sunt mici. Si chiar daca reusesti, n-o sa fie la fel. Poate sa fie mai bine sau poate sa fie mai rau. Dar ceva rupt si reparat va ceda mereu mai usor ca ceva nou. Nu?
A few guys later
This sucks. It was supposed to be fun. Guess what…it wasn’t. It was just wrong. Other guys will never help me forget. I only go out with them so that i will forget…so, natually, I remember why i see them and je n’oublie jamais. Nothing is the same. There’s this huge void in my soul that hurts and hurts and hurts. Now, as i look back, i see a have a fault. I saw a relationship based on friendship and i acted based on this. Turned out it wasn’t. It was a relationship based on nothing deep. It was shallow, unreal. We never really knew each other. When i realised this it was too late.
Unfortunately, love is blind. And stupid. I could have so much better but i don’t want it. I could have ice-cream topped with honey and i want sower grapes.
I found out something. What is right for someone can be terribly wrong for somebody else.
Never try to give people what they deserve. Don’t be vain and believe you will ever know what that is, don’t think you could ever give it. If you want to do just, give people what they want. Because there is a difference between what we want and deserve. The right thing won’t ever make us happy…we don’t live in a perfect world. And what is the purpose of life but to live it happily?
Getting swept off your feet - the downside
OK. I did it. I got dopey-eyed. I said yes to a heart-shapped pillow…I loved it. I believed in happily ever after and, most of all, I believed what I was told. Because it felt right. It really did. Until it stopped feeling at all. It was interesting…now as I look back it looked like a vacation away from myself..and how we love a vacation. Well, now it’s over and I’m confused, angry and dissapointed.
Why? Cause it just doesn’t seem right. It didn’t end right. And I’m sooo not going through any of those chick-fits he’s-a-pig-i-hope-he-suffers-i’ll-make-sure-he-does, because this isn’t me. It ended stupidly because you’re not supposed to say “I love you…sweet dreams” after you just broke up. Or you’re supposed to…I have no idea. I’m a tad confused. I’ll get over it though, sooner or later, one way or another. I just hope it won’t involve 10 guys whose names i won’t be able to remember and actions i would love not to remember. Or maybe it will, you never know.
Cause this is what i learned. You never know. One day it’s all peaches and cream and the next..well..it’s hard candy and scream. Or worse…silence…and that’s what i got.
Would I do it all over again? The romantic souls out there would say yes. And i say yes too. But it will never be the same again. That bitter smile i had at first will never go away now. I will never believe again and i will never let go like this. I’ll just fake it…cause i hate seeing people sad. I faked it until now too…at first..but i stopped along the way. I don’t know if i did wrong but i did it, no use crying about it.
Now, don’t generalise. I don’t fake everything. Yeah, that’s what i meant.
I doubt there is a prince charming, such a thing as love’s first kiss. There is only mister right-now. And right now is gone.
And this is why we don’t believe in fairy tales. Because we do…even the most sarcastic-ironic of us ends up beliving. And then everything crumbles down. Like a house of cards. But does the satisfaction of slowly putting it up compensate for the saddness of seeing it tumbling down? This…i can’t answer…i won’t answer…
Get swept off your feet
I never do. Really. Everybody else does. I just get a little bit frustrated, annoyed but i never lose touch with reality.
Or maybe this is my way of doing it, I really don’t know.
Can you love after one week? My friends can. They get all dopey-eyed, sweet and cute you just can’t stand around them out of fear of great big pink fluffy hearts falling out of the sky. I usually laugh in your face, make sarcastic remarks and get very ironic. A real treat you might think.
So it is logic and safe to say that in order to achieve a similar state of happiness and out-of-this-worldness I need to find someone as insensible and mean as I am.
But the question is if you put 2 insensible and sarcastic persons together will they ever love each other or will they end up killing one another?
I hope none of the above. I don’t wanna get all teary-eyed and I really don’t want to kill anybody. But either way, I bet things would end up interesting. Really interesting.
Touchy-touchy people
There is this thing called personal space. It is the air around you. It is your air. You can always be sure nobody else will ever invade it because, well, then they’ll have no more personal space of their own either.
Sometimes you meet people who seem to have never heard of this concept. So you find yourself in odd situations when you get slapped on your behind by an older person whose name you don’t really remember, get pushed into walls by over-excited dance parteners and have people curiously bending over to sniff your perfume. I admit I put on perfume between my boobs but i also put some behind my ear.
That would be easier and less odd to sniff. Wouldn’t it?
This gets me to something even more annoying. People that should but don’t invade your personal space.
Why? No, really, why?
To stalk or not to stalk
There comes a time in your life when you find out that someone has just found their one true love. Unfortunately, this person is..well…you. And you start getting calls that look to clarify what kind of flowers you like, you are told what your impossible to comprehend Id means and you receive compliments for photos posted on sites whose existence you never mentioned.
And….well….you kinda get the feeling that you are being stalked. Harassed. It becomes even sadder when your tries to turn a cold shoulder are being interpreted as flirting. And when you receive hi5 comments. :|
It seems I am more confortable in the position of liking a guy that doesn’t like me than being liked by a guy i …well…would be happy not to see.
Boys should play a little hard to get. When a girls plays really hard to get…she might just not want to be had….Get it?
Fatalitate
Fortuna, imperatrix mundi.
Nu au existat momente in care pur si simplu ti-a venit sa tipi ” De ceeee?”. De ce nu mai am baterie la telefon tocmai acum cand vorbeam cu X [ x= the most important person on earth in acel moment]? De ce nu mai fac meditatii azi? De ce a cazut cablul cand ma uitam la Sex and the city? De ce ploua cand ies in sfarsit cu balerinii? De ce suntem aici? De ce am doua maini? De ce gasesc fascinant nasul oamenilor?
Oh, I am Fortune’s fool.
Raspunsul este simplu. Dar nu poate fi gasit cu usurinta decat de cei cu o perceptie mai speciala asupra vietii. Adica de cei putin nebuni. Nu…nu ca sa-ti faca tie in sac. Nu esti asa de important. Pentru ca tocmai vorbisei 3 ore cu Theo. Pentru ca pleaca profa la Mall. Pentru ca un idiot a rupt cablul. Pentru ca nu mai plouase de mult. Pentru ca nu esti in alta parte. Pentru ca nu ai fi avut unde sa o pui pe a 3-a. Because i’m wierd.
Fortune favours the brave.
Da…logica e primul semn al nebuniei. Pentru ca incepi sa vezi lipsa logicii din jur. Pentru ca logica iti spune ca daca iti stergi praful in camera, peste 3 ore nu trebuie sa mai fie pe mobila. Dar este. Cu toate ca toate usile si geamurile erau inchise.
Pervert. And you go blind.
Fatalitatea domne. Zeii isi bat joc de muritori. Mercur ma face sa-mi pierd banii. Alemona imi tranteste usa in nas. Neptun il pune pe cal sa ma dea cu fundul de pamant. Bacchus ma ajuta sa uit cate pahare am baut. Parca suna mai bine. Nu sunt eu incompetenta. Providenta e de vina. Adica cea care imi vegheaza destinul. Si imi da unul aiurea.
Fortune spreads her legs for you.
Propun sa dam spaga. Zeilor. Un bou. Un porumbel. Alt bou. Un porc. Inca un bou. Un pahar de rom. Alb. Pentru pace.
Boa Constrictor - the new pink
The Boa Constrictor is a non-veninous snake that kills its prey by constriction and then, like all snakes, swallows it whole. What people seem to have ignored are the advantages of having one as a pet.
Snakes are known not to move much, so this beautifully coloured reptile can be used as an indoor/outdoor decoration, holding doors in place or making sure that the neighbour’s pesky cat never comes back (or goes back to the neighbour, to be more specific).
Taking in consideration the global warming phenomenon, such a loving, caring, cold-blooded beast can be nothing but useful. Helping you cut down on the electricity bill, during the night, the snake, listening to mother nature and the love of its owner, will curl around you as you sleep, helping you reduce your body temperature. Imagine that, you will no longer need to use the air conditioning system. Ever.
Also, the Boa Constrictor can be used as a temporary storage place thanks to its wonderful ability to swallow objects far bigger than its head. Say goodbye to hiding things under the rug. This pet is here to hide whatever embarassing objects you might have lying around, from your “sexy ass” mug to the latest number of the ” Are you single and desperate?” magazine.
Last, but no least, this snake can be great at guarding your house. By simply placing it near your door you can make sure that the burgler will trip on it and severly brake his nose. Having burglers come in from once in a while can be a good thing, because the Boa Constrictor doesn’t eat every day, one unwanted guest being enough for up to 3 weeks.
Extremly affectionate and renowned for its hugs, the Boa Constrictor can make an ideal pet for children and adults alike.
Don’t hesitate, order one now at www.you‘rescrewed.com and receive a free Amazon tree, complete with a noose, so as to maximise your exotic experience. Order now.
Happily ever after
Oh, how we love a fairytale. But what is sad is that it’s main attraction, the thing that makes it so wonderful, is the thought that it is impossible: a fragment of our childhood, marked by dreams of Peter Pan and Sleeping Beauty. We cast it away and return to our everyday existence, apparently forgetting about the tears we still have in the corner of our eyes.
Why is it that we live the most wonderful years of our life listening to stories about true love and true love’s first kiss and yet we find is extermely hard to say that we love someone? Why do we even have this concept anymore if we never ever use it?
What girl never dreamed of being a princess ( warrior princesses included)? And yet, when we analyse their behaviour, the way they sing to birds and see the wonders of life, and we take it and put it in the middle of our civilisation, we find out that grace, purity and beauty embodied transformes into a silly little blonde with signs of dementia, a world of her own and an extremly tiring character.
We wish to be saved by prince charming but we would never accept it because we would just be turned into a trophy-wife, for real or in the others’ minds. And how we care about the others.
But the truth is that this world is no place for a fairytale. Little Red Riding Hood never would have bothered to take a basket to granny, the 7 dwarves would have just kicked Snow White out of their house and Rapunzel’s hair never would have grown so long.
We live in an ironic, sarcastic, sad little world and we deserve it. We can only dream of something better. But don’t daydream. A car might hit you.
Equal rights?
Secolul XXI este marcat de o propaganda a egalitatii in drepturi, libertati si obligatii. Din nefericire este ignorata partea biologica, functiile de relatie conditionate de hormoni specifici pentru fiecare sex, adevarata modalitate de diferentiere. Egalitatea este imposibila, improbabila si tine de mit, unul asemanator celui al izgonirii din Paradis. Totusi, si aici se observa o diferenta de mentalitate intre sexe, Eva fiind curioasa si punandu-l pe Adam sa manance marul, dovedind astfel o grija innascuta pentru semeni si in acelasi timp inteligenta si spirit de actiune. Adam mananca marul. El este doar credul. Si probabil foarte indragostit.
Chiar si religia arata ca egalitatea nu exista, deci trebuie clar sa renuntam la acest concept. Sexul masculin, pe langa agresivitatea generata de testosteron, se mai bucura si de o activitate excesiva a glandelor salivare, cavitatea bucala trebuind golita din 5 in 5 minute de amilaza salivara omniprezenta. Astfel se intalneste fenomenul cunoscut popular sub numele de “scuipat pe strada, fir-ar el sa fie de nesimtit”, usor de observat in timpul oricarei plimbari prin spatiul public.
Din aceasta cauza eu am renuntat a ma mai uita dupa reprezentanti ai sexului puternic pe strada, acestia, invariabil, scuipand in momentul in care intra in raza mea vizuala.
Cauza pentru acest comportament poate fi cautata in trecutul animalic al speciei, cand, probabil, masculii se indeletniceau toata ziua cu marcarea copacilor, saliva in exces fiind nu un inconvenient, ci “mana cereasca”. Multi copaci cu balele tale pe ai ar putea fi considerati echivalentul unui BMW si al unui ceas de aur pe mana. Tocmai din aceasta cauza marcarea strazii pe care mergi se intalneste, in general, la posesorii sau doritorii acestor obiecte. Dusmanii trebuie sa stie ca intra in teritoriul tau.
Asa ca mai trage o flegma. O sa impresionezi si fetele. Garantat.
